Why are women so obsessed with weight? Especially the weight that we gain after a baby. It becomes our job to try and get rid of that last few pounds that we gained, if not more. I gained 50 pounds with both kids. Yep, 50. I couldn’t even believe it. I didn’t eat different. There was even a doctor’s visit that I had a rude doctor who had the nerve to ask me if I was eating a lot of junk food. I looked at the doctor, and said, “no, I am pregnant. That’s why I gained weight.” I wanted to add “asshole”, but I figured that might be a bit much. (It was a man, and believe me, I requested ANY OTHER doctor in the practice for my remaining visits!) I couldn’t understand why he would assume that because I had gained so much it was because I was stuffing my face with awful food. I really wasn’t. For the first few months, I had a sick feeling (although not much vomit, thank god) and by the time I could eat again, I felt like I had run out of room, and I had to eat in small portions anyway. And I didn’t change what I ate. Sure I had an extra cookie here and there, but beyond that, it wasn’t like I was getting McDonald’s big Mac’s every night.
After my first, I was able to “melt” off most of the weight with breastfeeding. Until I hit a plateau. I hadn’t gotten down to the weight I wanted, but I got to where I could fit into most of my clothes. I remember seeing a coworker when I went to the daycare my baby was going to be at. He was amazed and remarked on how great I looked; I had on a pre-pregnancy pair of jeans (you know the kind, that fit no matter what). It was a good feeling. I had finally felt good about my weight, because things fit better, and then I got pregnant again. I remember even saying to my husband in an exasperated voice, “really? I finally lost the weight and now I’m going to put it back on??”
After #2, it took awhile longer. Ironic, because I gained it faster the second time around during pregnancy. Anyway, I didn’t really lose the rest of the weight I had hoped for until this past summer, when my second was a year and half. I did it comfortably, slowly, without much changes to my diet. Which is how I wanted it. I am not a fad-dieter, so this was the best way for me. When a celebrity shows off their body after being pregnant simply weeks after and they look AMAZING, why do we ooo and ahhh over it? I mean, it can’t be real, can it? I was a member of a gym once (long ago, when I had free time) and the kickboxing and yoga instructor had a bod of steel. I mean, she could do three back to back, high energy classes and barely break a sweat. She actually taught most of her classes within weeks of having her third son, and was back teaching classes by a month after birth (I could’ve sworn it was much less, but I’ll at least give her a month so she doesn’t look too crazy), looking amazing, as always. I stopped going to her classes. I felt too bad about myself, even though I wasn’t pregnant or a mom yet.
I feel like I go very up and down with everything related to working out. I want to work out and be healthy because it also helps my mental state, but finding time is a bitch. And of course, mustering up the motivation. I never wanted to do any dieting, so I changed my portion sizes and what I ate in general (less fatty stuff more healthy snacking). But then I go through phases where only chocolate and wine look like good options and I would rather sit on my ass in front of the tv instead of moving one leg in front of the other. Believe me, when I get into one of these “slumps”, everything suffers (envision less showering unless absolutely necessary) and I can’t seem to pull myself out for awhile (my exercise often involves getting up from the couch to get another glass of wine or piece of chocolate). If we can’t keep true to ourselves, then how can we make sure that we are going to feel better about whether or not we lose our baby weight?
Most recently, someone I know was talking about how after two kids we couldn’t wear bikini’s anymore. “Am I right, or what?” I hesitated. I wore a bikini all last summer after two kids. Was that wrong? Did I look terrible after it and not know it, or not care? I suppose I will always continue to go up and down, in and out of slumps, with wine or just caffeine, and so my weight will follow. I have made my peace with it. Now only if social media, lunchroom conversation, and any gym instructors can follow suit, I will be good to go.