As I raced home today after work, meetings, wrapping up some individual projects, then picking up the kids from daycare, I felt I lost so much time. I can usually get out of work at a reasonable hour, pick up the kids, spend some quality time before dinner and then feel relaxed by the time they go to bed. There is days like today, where time seems to slip by no matter what I do. But then, just like that, we are home and I am waiting for the water to boil so I can make pasta. The water takes forever, and it’s not because I am watching it (just like the old adage). I keep walking away and doing other things. Then, the water finally boils, and I put the pasta in. And then, maybe because I am hungry and the natives are restless, the timer for the pasta to be done appears to tick away at a much slower pace than I want. Why is it that when you want time to slow down, it won’t; and it goes super slow when you want it to speed up and come already? Time, as a mother, is more of a frenemy than the girl you roomed with in college who acted like your friend but dropped you when you really needed her most because you weren’t on her priorities (yep, happened).
Regardless, what determines the friend or foe aspect to time? When time goes too fast, I feel like as a mom I try to compensate in other ways. We missed out on outside time at home because it started to get dark? No problem. Let’s draw or do puzzles or play the princess game for the 100th time because the kids are happy. I learn to make the time count in as many ways as possible. On the flip side, when time seems to move at a snails’ pace and I can’t seem to make something happen, I find other ways to be happy about it. While I waited for the pasta to cook, I found myself watching my kids interact and play without me interrupting. I found myself smiling stupidly into space as I listened to the two of them play whatever game they were playing, calling to each other, laughing. When time moves slowly, I feel its important to utilize that time to be happy with the moment, relish the happiness, enjoy where you are. Because, as moms, we know, those times are few and far between.
So. My jury is definitely out still on the issue of time. Sometimes I love it. I feel like it works for me. There are mornings that I wake up late, time seems to be of the essence, and I end up being ready before I should be. Maybe its the time crunch of feeling like I’m running late or something. But those times, time is on my side. Then there are times that time sucks ass. I can’t seem to get ahead of the game, I never have enough time to do anything, and I fall into bed feeling like a failure. Either way, I have to remind myself that I have to take the good with the bad, try to make good of the time I do have, and the rest is history. Or the time that got away. Whatever.