Things you’d never thought you’d say.

Alright.  So you know that feeling, the one you get when you look around and realize something just isn’t right.  But you don’t know how to react because you don’t want to draw too much attention to it in case your kids things it is funny and capitalize on the humor.  What do you do then?  Calmly respond with whatever it is they are doing and ask them not to?  These are just a few of the things I have found myself saying or doing in the 4 years I have been a mom.  Feel free to add your own in the comments…

1) Please don’t put your hand in your sister’s/brother’s tush.  (Literally.  Hand in undies or diaper.  Gross.)

2) Cream cheese doesn’t belong in your hair, it belongs on your bagel.

3) Please stop rubbing your naked tush on the floor/stepstool/your sister’s/brother’s pillow.  (Yup.  Hello, pinkeye!)

4) Why did you pee all over the floor in FRONT of the toilet?  What happened?

5) Please take your finger out of your nose.  No, really, I mean it.  Get a tissue!

6) Stop patting my tush.  Really.  Stop.  Mommy doesn’t like that.

7) Stop touching your penis/vagina.  That’s not nice.

8) Yes, I know that girls have vaginas and boys have penises, but please don’t talk about it at school, ok?

9) Why does the baby have no clothes on AGAIN?

10) Could you put some clothes on before coming downstairs next time?

I am sure there are plenty of others but as you can see, ours tend to involve the clothes/no clothes factor around our house.  Can’t wait for the next few years…

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