Finding new friends at my age

I have my kids to thank for this one.  I have found a few new friends through my kids’ preschool, and I didn’t think I would.  You see the posts on Facebook, “Find your mom BFF”, and you are excited about the prospect.  But you still think, nope, I’m too old to find new friends.  Everyone has their clicks, their people they call for advice, etc.  So how is it that we are able to actually break through to the new friendships?

What is it about being in your thirties with two kids and a full-time job that makes us less likely to meet new people?  Why can’t we be more like our 5-year-old, who would walk up and make friends with any little girl or boy at the park, provided Mommy was ok with it?  I am hesitant, because how many people already have their own agendas at our age?  But I do have my kids to thank for a lot of my new-found friends.

Preschool has done wonders for me.  There is one mom, whom I’ll call Carrie, whose children are in both of my kids classes.  We started chatting somewhere (I forget where) and the next thing I knew, she had emailed me for a trivia night at a local bar.  She works at the preschool, and I think she got my email from there.  Normally, I’d be weirded out, but honestly, I was happy to: 1) have an excuse to get out of the house and 2) to meet new people.  I went in unabashedly, and ended up meeting quite a few really nice moms whose children also went to our preschool.  Now, Carrie and I text a lot, hang out, make playdates, and grumble about the same things.  Another mom, also a preschool mom, and I have bonded over our littles obsessions with each other.  “Oh they ALWAYS talk about your little one!  It’s so cute how friendly they are!” Now, we see each other on the T ball field, and have made a playdate for soon.  Before, I would’ve thought that it was one of those niceties that you say in passing, like a “hey I’ll call you” or “we should get together” but you never do.  Now, I think it’s for real.

I might be corny for being excited at the prospect of new friends.  Yes, I am almost 36 years old, a mom of two, with a full-time job and barely any time to myself, so making new friends seemed unlikely.  I finally was able to arrange a double date night with friends I’ve had for years but we’ve been so busy we haven’t seen each other in months!   But as Carrie and I commiserate over the latest issue at school or hang out and drink wine, I realize that making mom friends CAN happen.  I feel comfortable enough in my own skin to try to make it happen, and I have.  And I thank my kids silently all the time for it!

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