Okay, so I am only about 3 months into having 3 kids, and I have to admit, I have already noticed a difference in myself. It might sound weird, but I didn’t feel this way with two. Here are some things I noticed so far.
-I have learned to let things go more. Before, when I had to take a sick day, I would get extremely overwhelmed, upset, and unable to move on quickly. This week alone, I had to take two sick days because my eldest has the flu (it’s only Wednesday). And I couldn’t really care about my work. I enjoyed these days, just relaxing and enjoying myself and my eldest’s company (when they weren’t puking or sleeping). Now, don’t forget, you are hearing this from a woman who has been on all sorts of depression medication, and anxiety ridden as well as practiced avoidance behaviors. So this is a huge step for me.
-My priorities have changed. Again, I used to put certain things ahead of others. If my mind was focused on a work task, a personal task or otherwise, and I just HAD to do it, I would put everything else aside to do so. Lately, I haven’t. I spend time just holding my infant, go outside and play soccer with my middle child, or color with my eldest. Everything else can wait. I knew I should have done this long ago, but for whatever reason, I have finally come to terms with it and can do it with ease. It all goes back to letting go.
-I have become super efficient. I thought I was efficient with two kids? Hell no. My work materials stay at work, and I only do a little bit at night if I really need to. Most times, I don’t. I have been able to make dinner, feed my infant a bottle and spell challenging words for my eldest. I am able to shower, blow dry and straighten my hair, get dressed for work and do my makeup; I can get three kids ready, make breakfast and coffee, lunches, and get everyone out the door in a little over an hour. I’ve been the most efficient I have ever been. I even surprise myself when I have been arriving at work earlier than I did with two kids.
– I don’t want to scream at my husband or accuse him of stupid shit as much. (At least to his face, ha ha.) I thought I would be more upset with having to take two sick days. Our usual battle involved who had more to do that day at work, and I would end up feeling like my job wasn’t worth as much as his, even though neither of us said as much. It would also come up at times that he would have to be late getting home from work, and wouldn’t know until late in the day. Now, I don’t feel like that. Our communication is getting better, maybe because we have to be quick and to the point. Otherwise, there is more of a chance of a crying child, screaming infant, or fight to break up. So we have been more efficient in our communication with each other, we listen more to each other, we get shit done quicker and with a more compromising nature.
I know I’ll keep learning more as time goes on. But the changes I see in myself have been amazing so far. I thought I would want to jump out a window or freak out over little shit. (Yes, I did feel as though my head would explode yesterday with how much was going on it in, but I got over that once I could organize my thoughts.) I feel like I am striking a balance in my life, my work, my family and things are running smoothly for once. I know that this can always change, but with my new mindset, I feel like I can take on the world. Sort of like Wonder Woman. 🙂