Finding peace where I least expected it

I have been playing with the idea of going to see a medium ever since I was pregnant with my second visiting my good friend in San Francisco.  We happened to go into a “really cool store” that she liked, and while we were there, I saw the man who ran the store.  I immediately felt like the mood had shifted, the air was altered, it was amazing.  I wanted to talk to this man forever.  When we left, my friend told me he was a medium.  He felt presences all around him all the time.  I became obsessed with trying to go back, to get an appointment before I left.  Unfortunately, I was only there for a long weekend, and left unfulfilled.

Until the other night.

Our lunch conversations at work vary greatly.  We can go from talking about what we did last night, to our families, to recipes (and of course, other random sex convos).  A friend of mine started talking about her encounter with a medium.  It sounded amazing, gave me chills, and I couldn’t stop thinking about it.  I asked her who it was, and started Googling right away.  I saw she did individual appointments, as well as parties and events.  I called and asked for prices, and then made my individual appointment.  It seemed like an eternity until I had the appointment, but it was worth the wait, and the money spent.

As soon as I walked in, she started talking.  And for the next half an hour she didn’t stop.  While she spoke, I cried.  Like, really ugly cried.  She answered questions I had for the longest time (15 years!) and everything she said was amazing.  She talked to me, spoke to me in statements instead of questions, and I offered nothing to give her an inclination of which way to go.  She would almost read my mind because I would think something and she’d answer it out loud.  She spoke to the spirits while she spoke to me, and it was both a calming and natural experience all at once.  She took time to focus on me as well, saying she thought she might so I could feel peace.  One of the things she said was that I often question my mothering.  “You wonder if you are a good mother.  Stop wondering.  You are.”  It was humbling to hear someone I didn’t know from Adam say this to me.  She talked to me about my career path, and told me that the time was right, right now, to go for it.  It was utterly amazing because I can literally just told someone THAT DAY I was thinking about going for an advancement.  How could she have known that?  At the end, I thought to myself, I hope she lets me give her a hug.  “Can we hug?” she said out loud.  I held her and thanked her profusely for everything.  I left feeling lighter, happier than I have in years.

It hit me as I was driving home.  Here I had been spending all of this time, money, effort on therapy and medication to deal with my depression and anxiety when all I had to do was go to see a medium.  For real, though; I was slightly skeptical and considering not going at all (which again, the medium pointed out to me, accurately), but I am so glad that I did.  The love that I lost 15 years ago set my mind at ease, and I feel better about my current relationship and all that we’ve been through.

I’m not saying it’s for everyone.  Believe me, I know plenty of people who don’t want to dredge up the past because they are too scared of what they might hear.  But for me, this was the most healing I have done in a long time.  And I know what I feel is real, and I have my guardian angel to follow me and watch over me.

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