Speaking up, getting what mommy needs

We know the feeling.  As mothers, we constantly put others first.  Regardless of how shitty we feel or how much we just want to lay down and take a nap, we plug on, move forward, and continue to make others happy.  I am always doing this.  It’s not a bad thing.  I obviously wouldn’t have become a mother without knowing that I would always have someone else relying on me and asking for my help.  I always do this at whatever cost because I know that’s what a mom does.

Except yesterday.

Yesterday, I didn’t.  I almost did and then stopped.  I had been up with the baby for most of the early morning hours, not really able to figure out why they were complaining.  I am guessing teeth or gas, because we have started to feed more solids.  Either way, they woke up at 2,3,4 and then 5 am, unable to be consoled.  I gave up then, went downstairs and waited for my husband to wake up.  I couldn’t wait to pass off the kids on him.

1.5 hours later, I was trying not to drift off when I heard my husband get up.  I went upstairs to find him changing clothes. “Can you take over with the baby…?” I asked.  “Well, I was going to go for a run…and mow…and vacuum the pool…” he replied.  Sighing, I turned to walk away.  And then I stopped.  “No.” I said, turning back.  “I had a really rough night with her, and I’m exhausted.  I just need to sleep a little bit more.”  And I climbed into bed.  He sighed, although briefly, but then dutifully went downstairs to tend to the kiddos.  And I slept a glorious 1.5 hours and woke up feeling refreshed and without guilt.

It. Was. Amazing.

I thought I’d feel bad.  I thought my husband would talk about how he had “ALL of this stuff to do” over and over.  Instead, I felt great and refreshed.  And my husband didn’t complain one bit.  It was a win win for everyone.

My point in telling this is to let moms know, it’s okay to take care of yourself.  Know your limits.  Realize that life is too short to deal with crap on your own.  If you have help and can utilize it, DO IT.  Ask for help.  Don’t hesitate to put yourself first.  Because if mommy isn’t able to deal, ain’t NO ONE going to be happy about that.


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