I am 37 years old. Wayyyyy out of middle school. Far away from the cliques that plagued me, that left terrible notes in my locker, that ousted me from their groups. I overcame all of that, and I now have 3 kids, a loving husband, and a good job, as well as free time to spend with my kids and family. So that’s good, right? I’m past it all?
I thought I was past it. I thought I left all that catty bullshit behind. But nope. It found me. It found me on the sidelines of my kid’s soccer games. It found me at the parent group events. And it found me at the mom’s night out I was invited to.
Let’s face it. Women can be judgmental, bitchy, and abrupt. We can tell it like it is, to whomever and whenever. But our “mom tribes” are true to us, right?
I went to a mom’s night out event the other day. I was reluctant to go, as my usual group of friends was unavailable. This group “gets me”. They understand that I like to have a few cocktails, I like to gossip (who doesn’t?!), and I am real. I don’t hide my feelings. So when they couldn’t go, I almost skipped it. But my husband left his work event early so I could go, and he made a point about if I don’t go, how WILL I ever meet new moms? So I went alone, afraid and ready to run if needed.
I ended up seeing a few people I knew, and hung out with a mom whose son is in my kid’s class. We stayed on the outskirts of the event, chatting, people watching. What we noticed was: women are still clique-y. Women are catty bitches. Women have their “groups” that they stay in from the start, and anyone who tries to join them probably will be damned if they do. I said hello to a few other moms I know in passing, but didn’t feel like I could get into their discussion, their group, their clique. I remember experiencing this firsthand when at a parent group event, I tried to go up to some friends of friends to chat it up. They literally looked through me and didn’t respond. So I walked away.
I don’t claim to be perfect. Far from it. I make mistakes, I don’t always dress up for events I probably should. I forget my kids’ lunches sometimes, and I don’t always sign off on their homework. But I am real. I want to chat it up with moms who are in the same boat, who like to gossip, who are real and not fake. Who don’t look through me when I try to talk to them. Who aren’t in any specific clique (as I am definitely not).
And although I will never leave middle school truly behind me (I suppose), I will stick to what I know. The real moms out there who are willing to listen, chat it up, and have a few cocktails while sharing a laugh about all of those other catty bitches.